From Victim to Survivor to Thriver

I think about this chart often that I found some time ago, but it helps me to reflect and see where I am on this journey. I've done A LOT of internal work and hope to be on the thriver side more than victim side. (Not that that's a bad thing, just a process).  Thought I would post for all of you to see. Originally found here. Written by Barbara Whitfield. Her site is here.

Victim	Survivor	Thriver
Doesn’t deserve nice things or trying for the "good life."	Struggling for reasons & chance to heal	Gratitude for everything in life.
Low self esteem/shame/unworthy	Sees self as wounded & healing	Sees self as an overflowing miracle
Hyper vigilant	Using tools to learn to relax	Gratitude for new life
Alone	Seeking help	Oneness
Feels Selfish	Deserves to seek help	Proud of Healthy Self caring
Damaged	Naming what happened	Was wounded & now healing
Confusion & numbness	Learning to grieve, grieving past ungrieved trauma	Grieving at current losses
Overwhelmed by past	Naming & grieving what happened	Living in the present
Hopeless	Hopeful	Faith in self & life
Uses outer world to hide from self	Stays with emotional pain	Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights
Hides their story	Not afraid to tell their story to safe people.	Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing with HP
Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged	Comes out of hiding to hear others & have compassion for them & eventually self	Lives with an open heart for self & others
Often wounded by unsafe others	Learning how to protect self by share, check, share	Protects self from unsafe others
Places own needs last	Learning healthy needs (See Healing the Child Within & Gift to Myself)	Places self first realizing that is the only way to function & eventually help others
Creates one drama after another	See patterns	Creates peace
Believes suffering is the human condition	Feeling some relief, knows they need to continue in recovery	Finds joy in peace
Serious all the time	Beginning to laugh	Seeing the humor in life
Uses inappropriate humor, including teasing	Feels associated painful feelings instead	Uses healthy humor
Uncomfortable, numb or angry around toxic people	Increasing awareness of pain & dynamics	Healthy boundaries around toxic people, incl. relatives
Lives in the past	Aware of patterns	Lives in the Now
Angry at religion	Understanding the difference between religion & personal spirituality	Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding
Suspicious of therapists-- projects	Sees therapist as guide during projections	Sees reality as their projection & owns it.
Needs people & chemicals to believe they are all right	Glimpses of self-acceptance & fun without others	Feels authentic & connected, Whole
"Depression"	Movement of feelings	Aliveness

©Barbara Whitfield 2003

Helpful Resources for Service Dog Handlers

NOTE: I made the following using some of the helpful information I found while researching Service Dogs. Everything from Federal and State Laws protecting handlers and service dogs to helpful organizations that advocate for us to great equipment you may need when paired with a service dog. This information is public but I ask that if you share this document, do so in its entirety, and acknowledge that I researched and compiled it. Thank you.

Helpful Information re: Service Dogs:

ADA (The Americans with Disabilities Act) and the Rehab Act of 1973; covers your federal rights when using a service animal in accessing hospitals, offices, stores, government buildings, the VA.)
http://spot.pcc.edu/~rjacobs/career/ada_and_the_rehab_act_of_1973.htm#Contents

State Laws listed by State pertaining to Service Animals http://servicedogcentral.org/content/node/51

Federal Laws pertaining to Housing and Service Animals (covered under Fair Housing Act) http://www.deltasociety.org/Page.aspx?pid=489

Public Law 107-135 The VA law pertaining to Service Dogs. (specifically Title II, Section 201(c)(2)) was passed which said the VA could, but didn’t have to, provide service dogs to veterans with certain disabilities.) http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=107_cong_public_laws&docid=f:publ135.107.pdf

“Why the VA has provided NO MONEY for Service Dogs, in their own words”
http://www.albrittain.com/service-dogs/why-the-va-has-provided-no-money-for-service-dogs-in-their-own-words/ (This article is addressing the entitlements through Prosthetics and Sensory Aids, not through Voc Rehab.)

Vocational Rehabilitation (VR&E) Independent Living Program information http://www.vba.va.gov/bln/vre/ilp.htm

International Association of Assistance Dog Partners (IAADP) http://www.iaadp.org/
IAADP is a non profit organization that was launched in 1993 at the joint Delta Society and Assistance Dogs International Conference. IAADP's mission is to (1) provide assistance dog partners with a voice in the assistance dog field; (2) enable those partnered with guide dogs, hearing dogs and service dogs to work together on issues of mutual concern;(3) to foster the disabled person / assistance dog partnership. Despite more than 70 years of guide dog partnerships and more than 25 years of hearing dog and service dog partnerships, many disabled people continue to report challenges to their access rights. A number of potential confrontations have been avoided and conflicts resolved through the intervention of the IAADP. It is a resource available for advice and peer support. This organization also functions as a busy information and referral resource for the general public, the disabled community, state and federal officials, trainers, new providers, rehabilitation counselors, parents and assistance dog partners throughout North America. Help may be obtained by contacting the IAADP Information & Advocacy Center at (586) 826-3938 or by mail, as well as through the new web site Help-line.


Psychiatric Service Dog Society (for PTSD, etc.) http://www.psychdog.org/

PSDS Task List for PTSD, etc. http://www.psychdog.org/tasks.html

PSDS Veterans Resources, Articles, Tasks, etc. http://www.psychdog.org/veterans2.html

Association of Pet Dog Trainers APDT (if you need to find a trainer in your area) http://www.apdt.com/petowners/ts/us/default.aspx


Delta Society http://www.deltasociety.org/Page.aspx?pid=183
The mission of Delta Society is to help lead the world in advancing human health and well-being through positive interactions with animals. We help people throughout the world become healthier and happier by incorporating therapy, service and companion animals into their lives.

AKC’s Canine Good Citizen Program (a good step in the training process, plus an extra patch for your vest if you pass.) http://www.akc.org/events/cgc/index.cfm

Some of my favorite online stores for Service Dog gear and equipment:

http://www.raspberryfield.com/mm5/merchant.mvc

http://stores.ebay.com/servicedogapparel (great veteran-themed dog patches for vests)
http://www.servicedoghouse.com/
http://www.sitstay.com/

© 2010 by Angela Peacock. All rights reserved.

Standing up for female warriors

http://napavalleyregister.com/news/opinion/mailbag/article_6b67a57a-5b1c-11df-a67b-001cc4c002e0.html

I read your April 11 article, “A path to inner peace,” about the Pathway Home in Yountville with interest.

I am an Iraq veteran from 2003 and served with the Army’s First Armored Division, in Baghdad, Iraq, right after the war began. I was later diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from numerous incidents that occurred in theater. In fact, I served in the same area, during the same time period, as one of the soldiers quoted in the story. If you’ve ever seen the documentary “Lioness,” you can see that many women served in combat areas and were exposed to the same dangers that our male veterans face.

I took an interest in the Pathway Home as a possible residential treatment program that I could attend as an option for my combat-induced PTSD. After sending them an e-mail as to my interest in their program, this was their response:

“We are actually still trying to find funding for a women’s program. We are aware of the great need for this type of program and are working diligently to make it happen. When we do start the program though, it will be advertised at the VA, Vet Centers, military installations, and on our website.”

The response disappointed me greatly. I then looked for another residential program with a combat PTSD focus for women veterans, with no luck. Instead I had to drive 2,100 miles from St. Louis, Mo., to Long Beach, Calif., to attend an Military Sexual Trauma-focused program at the VA to treat my PTSD. (Where, I might add, we were housed with male veterans at a homeless shelter. Almost all the women in the program relapsed into addiction while we were there because of that stressor. I was only able to stay strong because of my years of yoga and meditation before ever going.)

Seven years later, I still continue to wait, like many other female combat veterans who served, for sufficient treatment for the impact that the combat experience has continued to cause in my life.

In September of 2009, I had the opportunity to serve alongside the Pathway Home’s director, Fred Gusman, on a panel on Veterans and Substance Abuse at the Council on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University in New York. I expressed my concerns to him at that time about the need for a women veterans’ program, but received a cold response. I too had turned to addiction to self-medicate my PTSD, but have now been clean and sober now for almost four years. I have been interviewed by numerous national news media (CNN, the New York Times, CBS Evening News, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch) on the same topic.

I have continued to check the Pathway Home’s website several times since then, only to see a photo of a female veteran on the website, which is disturbing to say the least, because it makes it seem as though they offer treatment to women veterans when they do not.

Not only does the American public barely recognize our female service members’ service in combat roles and who are now coming home with PTSD, but we also have a lack of Department of Veterans Affairs care for female combat PTSD treatment. To this date, more than 212,000 female service members have been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, 11 percent of the total force. One hundred twenty have been killed in action and more than 600 wounded, and we can’t even get a nonprofit to offer us programs. This aids to the continued stigma and drives female veterans farther underground with worsening symptoms when their own state doesn’t care enough to treat them. How long must we continue to wait for adequate treatment?

Do our female warriors, like myself, not deserve the same respect and treatment programs that our male veterans receive?